A Cancer Support Group Prolonged a Friend's Life

I will never forget the look in my friend Susan's eyes when she came in and told me she found out that she had stomach cancer and it was terminal. I had never seen such sadness in her eyes in my life, and I wanted to cry, too. I knew, however, that she needed me to be strong and positive, and I told her that only God knows whether or not her cancer was terminal and that I had recently heard about a cancer support group that was supposed to be great. One evening, we decided to make a trip to the place where the group met and sit in on one of the meetings.

She could hardly get out of bed for two days when she first received the news, but I refused to let her feel sorry for herself. She finally came around and said that she did not want to spend what remaining time she had left in bed, but wanted to do something with the rest of her life. We went to the cancer support group and started listening in on some of the stories people had to tell. It was amazing for us to hear some of them, and even more amazing to see Susan's reaction.

We heard from people who were diagnosed with incurable cancer more than a decade ago and are still alive. They talked about how when they first found out, they lived in constant fear that something bad was going to happen. After a while, however, they got tired of living their lives that way and started living as if they were completely healthy. They, too, had discovered the cancer support group and said just being able to meet other patients, talk about it and get things off of their chests helped them so much.

Susan finally opened up a little bit and started talking about her diagnosis, and was quite relieved to see everyone really do their best to comfort her. Many of them reiterated what I had told her originally, in that there is no guarantee that she would be dead within the next six months as she had originally been told. The cancer support group members took extra time with Susan and provided her with great peace of mind during the meeting, and when it was done, I told her that I would go with her any time that she wanted to go. She said she wanted to go every week.

I wish that I could say that Susan lived for a good long time after her original diagnosis and then died a relatively peaceful death, but that was not the case. You see, Susan is still alive, 10 years after her original diagnosis, and has been told at each office visit for a decade now that the cancer has not progressed. She lives life to the fullest, and I suspect she will for a very long time!

How I Quit Smoking For Good

I smoked for years and thought that I would never be able to break the habit. I loved it, I had no lung problems or difficulty breathing and most of my friends smoked, so I did not really see the problem. After years of smoking, my wife finally convinced me to quit, but it was not as easy as I thought it would be. It really gets a hold on you and it is hard habit to break. I did quit smoking for good eventually, but it took some hard work and will to do so.

I tried every solution under the sun to quit smoking for good, and almost everything I tried failed. I was told that a person is no longer physically addicted to nicotine within 36 hours of smoking their last cigarette or cigar. I thought to myself, all right, if I can just make it for a day and a half without smoking, I will be home free. Now, I am not saying that the person who told me that was lying, and perhaps it was more out of habit than anything else, but I still badly wanted a cigar after that 36 hours, and I smoked one.

I then decided I was going to use the patch to quit smoking for good. For whatever reason, I could not seem to get enough nicotine out of my patch, and I was still craving a smoke. I then placed a few more patches on various parts of my body, and then I started to get tingly feeling and knew that something was wrong. I took them all off and had to wait for about a day before I felt completely normal again. Needless to say, I quickly abandoned that approach, which was disappointing, because I knew other people who had quit smoking by using the patch.

I then decided that I would try to ween myself from smoking a little at time. I figured that it would be hard to stop smoking all at once, so why not make it a gradual effort to quit smoking for good and give myself a little bit of a break. That worked for a while, but it was not long before I started to go right back to my old habits and smoke like a chimney again. I knew that I had a serious addiction at that point, and started to wonder whether I could ever quit smoking.

I was in my library one night reading a biography on Sigmund Freud. He was one of my heroes as a psychology major, and I found his theories to be very useful. I read about how he used to smoke 20 cigars a day, and I felt proud that I also smoked cigars. Then I read about how he developed mouth and throat cancer, and how part of his jaw had to be removed. I'd found my reason to quit smoking for good. The book was so vivid in its description that I put out the cigar I was smoking at the time and never had another.

The Effects of Mouth Cancer on the Human Psyche

My friend found out five years ago that he had mouth cancer and was absolutely devastated. Doctors were able to treat it and he survived, but the after-effects were absolutely horrible. I asked him the other day how he was doing with his situation, and he told me that the hardest part to deal with is not physical, but psychological.

He was a baseball player throughout high school and college, and had chewed tobacco since his freshman year of high school. Of course, this was illegal, and he would not do it around the coaches, but he did it whenever he was out of school and whenever we were playing pick-up games. He saw all of his heroes doing it and he wanted to do it as well. He never imagined that he would develop mouth cancer as a result of his chewing-tobacco use.

After he received treatment for the mouth cancer and was pretty much ruled to be in the clear, he underwent reconstructive surgery to his jaw and cheek. The effects of the mouth cancer were devastating, and when I was finally allowed to see him, I could hardly recognize my once happy-go-lucky-friend Darryl, and now saw something that did not come close to resembling him. I think the hardest part for me to watch was when he first looked into a mirror. He stared at himself for several seconds, and then closed his eyes and shook his head. "I look like a freak," he said.

After a few years, he was able to go back out into public and not feel embarrassed and ashamed. He said it is still very difficult for him, because everybody does stare. He really only feels comfortable in our own neighborhood, but even that was difficult for him for the longest time, as everybody wanted to know what had happened.

He told me that the hardest part about the mouth cancer was not the physical pain he endured during treatment or surgery, but the psychological pain he endured as a result of his appearance. He used to be a regular lady's man and never had trouble finding a date on Saturday night. He told me that the reactions he gets from most women now is one of three - pity, shock or stifled laughter.

I have talked to him hundreds of times about his mouth cancer. I have tried to reassure him that it is what's on the inside that counts, and not a person's appearance, but that is easy for me to say, and it only does so much good. He lives by himself, he rarely goes out and has absolutely no confidence with women. It is sad to see what mouth cancer has done to my friend.